3 Ways To Improve Communication in Your Relationship

Everyone says communication is the most important thing you need to make a relationship work — and they’re right. Communication can make or break a relationship, and when you truly care about your relationship, you don’t want it to break. That means improving your communication with your partner.

But the thing nobody explicitly tells you is that communication is difficult. Sure, you can guess that from the way everyone stresses its importance within a relationship, but that’s not the same as someone outright telling you it’s hard. Still, it might not be easy, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up hope.

Communication is first and foremost a skill. And just like any other skill, you can work on it and improve. You can start by following these few tips.

1) Set a Time to Talk

Life is busy these days, and it’s normal if you and your partner struggle to find a time to sit down and truly talk. But there is no getting around this. If you’re multitasking during big discussions, you’re both at risk of misunderstanding one another. Worse, one or both of you may feel unheard by the other, like you’re not important. That’s exactly what you want to avoid.

The best way to truly communicate with your partner is to set a time to talk. And when you do sit down to discuss what needs to be discussed, make sure you’re not judging each other. Talk to each other, decide the best way to communicate between the two of you. And remember that you won’t always agree on everything. When you’re in a relationship, compromise is unavoidable. Just be sure what you’re willing to compromise on and what you aren’t, tell your partner, and ask them the same thing.

2) Be Honest and Open

It’s tempting sometimes to keep things to ourselves, but the truth is, ignoring issues, no matter how small, adds up. After a while, it all begins to fester, and you can’t escape the resentment that comes with it. The only way to avoid this is to be honest about what’s bothering you. You want to deal with these issues as soon as they happen. Otherwise, they begin to build up. The next thing you know, you hold deep resentment for your partner and you find it hard to get rid of. Don’t let yourself get to that point. Be honest with your partner, and also with yourself.

3) Be Kind

Of course, while talking about what bothers you is important, how you do it matters. You don’t want to criticize your partner. That’s how they become defensive. You don’t want to be raising your voice, shouting, escalating the situation into a full argument. Fighting doesn’t solve things. It just puts you at odds with one another.

When you sit down to talk, when you bring up any issue you may have, remember to be kind. Be gentle. Your goal isn’t to criticize or shame your partner into changing their ways. You’re trying to make them understand how you feel to see how you can both move forward. Likewise, if your partner is the one bringing up something they take issue with, don’t get defensive. Sit down and listen to what they have to say. Everything else comes later. Remember you’re not each other’s enemies. You’re partners.

If All Else Fails…

If you still struggle to communicate after this, then maybe it’s time to talk to a professional. Sometimes what you need is a neutral third party to mediate and make sure everybody gets their turn to talk as well as listen. There’s nothing wrong with that. Talk to your partner and schedule an appointment. Give it a try.