Carer's Fatigue: Why Cancer Caregivers Need Support, Too
Cancer is never a walk in the park for those diagnosed and those involved.
Supporting someone who is going through cancer treatment can be emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausting. Of course, you want to do your best to care for them during this incredibly difficult time.
However, you can't pour from an empty cup. Trying to care for an individual when you're exhausted doesn't do as much good for you or them. It can transform your mood and outlook to a negative one.
Taking time to make sure you're also caring for yourself and getting support of your own is crucial for carers of cancer patients.
What Causes Carer's Fatigue?
There are a few common reasons carers experience burnout and fatigue when caring for cancer patients.
Role Confusion
Sometimes people are suddenly put into the role of caregiver. It becomes a whole new set of responsibility and can be overwhelming especially if you've never been in a similar role before. It becomes difficult separating your caregiver role from your other roles as a friend, partner, etc.
Impractical Expectations
As a caregiver, you hope that you have a positive effect on a cancer patient's health and wellbeing. However, it's rarely so straightforward. Having unrealistic expectations makes the very real setbacks and struggles of suffering a disease much more startling.
Limited Control
As a caregiver, you only have so much money and resources to plan, manage, and enact a cancer patient's care. This can quickly become frustrating and disheartening.
Demanding Too Much
Many caregivers find themselves under a heavy burden. Other family members may place unrealistic demands on the primary caregiver, leading the caregiver to forego their own wellbeing and other responsibilities in favor of meeting these incredibly high expectations.
Signs You're Experiencing Carer's Fatigue
Many of the symptoms of carer's fatigue mirror those of depression. As with depression, the first step in stopping it from spiraling out of control is recognizing the signs.
Irritability and Hopelessness
When first learning about your loved one’s cancer diagnosis, you shift your mindset quickly to adjust to the demands of following a cancer treatment schedule, diet and doctor appointments. Some caregivers take time off of work altogether while others are left with juggling work, family life and supporting their loved one.
After several months of having made several readjustments and juggling through your various roles, feelings of irritability and hopelessness may begin to surface.
Withdrawal
The stress of managing your own life, the care of a cancer patient, and demands from other family members can pile up to an almost unmanageable level. As a result, you may withdraw from friends and hobbies you once enjoyed. You're suddenly too tired for socializing or doing things that bring you joy.
Changes in Sleep, Appetite, and Overall Health
When you're burnt out as a caregiver, you may experience changes in your sleep. Perhaps you start losing sleep or start oversleeping. You may also experience an increase or decrease in appetite, which can then cause changes in weight.
And as a result of living in a constant state of stress with deviations from your normal sleep and eating habits, you may actually get sick more often. Your body is too tired to fight off pesky colds and allergies.
Getting Help and Healing
Caregivers of cancer patients have an important role, but it's important that they are also taking the time to care for themselves.
If you're experiencing carer's fatigue, you don't have to shoulder it alone. Make time to practice self-care and consider reaching out to a mental health professional. A therapist provides a safe space for you to express yourself and they can help you create healthy coping mechanisms to help prevent burnout (including learning how to care for yourself in these situations).
Don't hesitate to reach out, especially if you're having thoughts of self-harm. Contact us to learn more about therapy for caregivers.
