Tips for Parenting While Dealing with Cancer or a Chronic Illness
In conversations about parenting, you will often encounter two common themes. First, of course, raising kids is viewed as a challenge that requires lots of energy. But also, parents love to talk about all the stuff they do with their kids. They are involved, active, and engaged. However, it can become a bigger challenge with less energy and engagement for parents struggling with a chronic illness.
Whether it is a mental or physical condition — or possibly both — a chronic illness has the potential to reshape your parenting experience. Fortunately, there are proven ways to work within this reality. Let’s explore a few!
4 Tips for Parenting While Dealing with a Chronic Illness
1. Acceptance
This acceptance can often fall into two broad categories:
Reality
Do not engage in self-fulfilling behaviors like comparing yourself to other parents without chronic pain. Recognize what is happening. Educate yourself about your condition. Get busy creating modifications and adaptations that empower your parenting efforts.
The Need For Help
Accept that you cannot do it alone. Talk to your family and trusted friends. Lean on your partner. Never forget that with or without chronic pain, parenting is never a solo act. So get comfortable reaching out when you need support.
2. Work Together with Your Kids
This can also be a two-part solution:
Explain
This, of course, will depend on your children’s ages but let them know what’s going on. You can avoid comparing yourself to other parents, but you can’t stop your kids from doing so. Therefore, don’t keep them guessing. Educate them as you see fit.
Innovate
Children are almost always ready for fun, and it does not have to follow the standard script. Create family activities that simultaneously respect your limits while satisfying your children’s interests. Board games, movie nights, reading aloud, and more are all tried and true favorites. Involve your children in the decision-making and planning process.
3. Balance
Speaking of limits, find yours. Learn the nuances of your unique situation. Are some days betters than others and if so, can you know that in advance? Use this information to create a schedule that makes the most of your time with your kids. At the same time, work on releasing guilt and shame. You didn’t ask for chronic pain. So don’t add new stress by blaming yourself.
4. Take Care of Your Emotional and Spiritual Needs
As you work to recover from a physical ailment, it can be so helpful to tend to your other needs. The emotional impact of chronic pain can bring mood swings and frustration that impact the household. You have a right to honor your feelings, of course, but you also have a responsibility to your family.
This is where it can be beneficial to connect with a spiritual practice. Whatever resonates with you, give it space in your daily life. You may choose to pray or write in a journal or practice mindful meditation. You may combine all three! The point is that there’s a long history of soothing physical discomfort by tending to one’s soul.
You Do Not Have to Have All the Answers
Help is available. Parents all over the world call on mental health professionals for guidance. If your parenting experience also involves chronic pain, it makes even more sense to find solace in your weekly therapy sessions. You and your counselor will work as a team to explore the new dynamics in your life. In this setting, you can unearth underlying patterns and discover new approaches.
If you are juggling parenthood and chronic pain, I invite you to reach out to schedule a free and confidential consultation.
